So close and yet so. Damn. Far.

Tomorrow I’ll hit the 37-week mark on this pregnancy. I don’t know how in the hell I am going to make it. I’m definitely done with the whole being pregnant thing, but then I remember that to not be pregnant anymore means to have to care for a toddler AND an infant. Annnnnnd then I’m okay with still being pregnant.

Now, I will regale you with Some Things That Have Bothered Me Recently.

1. I DO NOT want to hear about “how HUGE I am getting” or that I “look like I’m about to pop”. Trust me. I feel enormous enough without your reminding me every. single. damn. morning. when I get to work. Please remember that when I get to your house to watch your daughter, it is 7am and I probably woke up approximately 6 minutes prior to seeing you. I am most definitely still in my pajamas, have barely contained my bedhead, and may or may not have brushed my teeth. I am probably still half-asleep, and that’s alright because your daughter does not wake up for another hour, during which I will have time to mainline a cup of coffee. And yes, I am still drinking caffeinated coffee while pregnant. Sue me. But so help me god, if you tell me ONE MORE TIME that I’m “moving so slowly these days” or that I “look like a woman on a mission to just have this baby now” I swear I will flip the eff out.

2. Okay. So maybe I’m not the biggest pregnant woman you’ve ever seen. In fact, I’m fairly certain I’m not. But let me assure you that this is the biggest that I, personally, have ever been. So I would like to reserve the right to complain without you telling me how you had it so much worse. Commiserate, yes please, by all means. But seriously, unless you’re hugely pregnant RIGHT NOW, I feel worse at this particular moment in time, so please give me my turn to be the whiny little snot.

2a. I would also like to give a shout out to all the women that have told me that I “look so cute” and tell me that I’m lucky cause I “only got a belly!” and that my stomach “looks like one of those fake pregnancy bellies on tv!”. Please feel free to continue such comments, as long as you allow me to thank you and then continue to bitch about how huge I feel.

3. Pelvic pain can go suck it. Same goes for back pain.

4. Uhhh, that’s actually pretty much it for today. That’s all that’s bothering me.

Things are actually going along just fine. Babygirl continues to be ridiculously cute, which very nearly makes up for the crankiness in the afternoon when all I want to do is sit on the couch with a heating pad on my back. I am slowly slowly making my way through the to-do-before-baby-gets-here list I have. Which isn’t actually written out in list form, and so makes things sort of difficult. Problem is, every time I get out a pen and a notepad, it is stolen by a 17-month-old and as a result there may be pen marks all over our couch…

37-week doctor visit tomorrow. Expect a full report.

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