Every once in a while, I get the urge to be a fantastic mom. Like, the over-the-top obnoxious kind. One whose kids eat vegetables by choice because of her tireless attempts to introduce varying tastes and textures, and who actually wears real clothes around the house, and doesn’t forget about doctors’ appointments. One who has endless patience for whining and would never hide in the bathroom for 20 minutes with a bowl of ice cream and half an episode of Dr. Who on the iPad just to escape the gd whining.

And then I remember that um. She doesn’t exist. We do what we can. And sometimes that means hiding, and sometimes that means shining, and I’m just a glorious mix of the two and that’s that.

pinwheelsToday’s lunch- turkey pinwheels. So lovingly prepared. Mayo and turkey and shredded cheese and shredded cucumber (because VEGETABLES) all rolled up and artfully arranged on a plate with carrot sticks on the side.

This was taken after they’d “eaten” lunch. As you can see, Violet didn’t touch hers, because it wasn’t on a green plate (though she may have picked out like 4 shreds of cheese). Fiona dismantled hers and ate only the mayoed tortilla strip exterior of two of the pinwheels, claiming that “This cucumber is like SLIME, Mama. IT’S LIKE SLIME! UGH!”

Tomorrow I shall go back to my regularly scheduled lunch of throwing slices of lunchmeat, cheese, and bread in a pile. Because eff this. If you have any suggestions on how to make them actually eat anything other than macaroni&cheese or spaghetti with parmesan cheese (no sauce), I’m all ears.

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